I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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