Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I forget how to act sober
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
