You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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