i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
