i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
