wakey wakey hands off snakey
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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