and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
