Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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