I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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