"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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