So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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