I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
