nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a hot homeless man
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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