So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
