He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize