i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
