Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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