Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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