it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
