we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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