Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
