and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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