Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
