uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
