Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
