I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize