I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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