The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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