I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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