It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just found a bag of teeth...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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