i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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