Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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