when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
