your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
