Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
