Christians are straight up FREAKS
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it because I queefed?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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