my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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