Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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