..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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