all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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