Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
