Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
