i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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