My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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