Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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