she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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