Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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