i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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