So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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