Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
