is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
