Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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