The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
