I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
