My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
