Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
