I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
