i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
