Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
