no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
