i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
