people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
