Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
