i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
