Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
